What Do I Want My Kids to Know?
What I Want You to Know
Most of what we pass down is unplanned: a habit they picked up, a story they overheard, a value they absorbed without either of you naming it. This is a chance to be deliberate about a few of those things, in your own words, while nothing urgent is forcing the conversation. Fourteen questions, answered at whatever pace suits you.
Why bother writing any of this down?
Because almost none of it gets said otherwise. Families keep photographs and paperwork. What goes missing is everything in between: why you left the town you grew up in, what the hard year was actually like, what you thought you were doing when you made the decision everyone still talks about.
That knowledge sits in one person, and it is not written anywhere. Most people mean to pass it on. It stays on the list because there is never a natural moment, and because “let me tell you about my life” is a strange thing to announce over dinner.
These questions give it a shape, so you are not starting from a blank page.
How to use this
- Answer in your own words. A sentence or a full page, either is right. Nobody is grading it.
- Skip anything that does not fit. Come back to it later, or do not.
- Keep it somewhere your kids will actually find it, or set a date to share it yourself.
Nothing here needs to be perfect, finished in one sitting, or shared with anyone right away.
What I Want You to Know is also a free printable workbook, with room to write under every question. Nothing to sign up for.
Download the free guide (PDF)Where I started
- What is a moment from your childhood that quietly shaped who you are?
- What did your family have plenty of, and what did it go without?
- What is something you believed as a kid that turned out to be wrong, and what changed your mind?
How I decided
- What is the hardest decision you have made, and how did you actually make it, not just what you chose?
- What is something you almost did but did not, and how do you feel about that now?
- What is a mistake you made that you are glad you made?
- If you could redo one decision with what you know now, which one, and why?
What I actually believe
- What do you want your kids to understand about money that no one explained to you?
- What is something you value that most people around you do not seem to?
- What is a rule you live by that you have never actually said out loud?
What I hope for you
- What do you hope is true about your life ten years from now?
- What is something you hope your kids never have to learn the hard way?
- What do you want them to know about you that they might not find out otherwise?
- If you are not there to say it in person, what is the one thing you would want them to hear?
Once you have written this down
Keep it. Reread it in a year and see what has changed. Share it with your kids now, or leave instructions for when it should be shared. There is no wrong way to finish this. The only mistake is never starting it.
If you are on the other side of this, wanting to ask rather than answer, What I’d Want to Ask My Parents is the same idea pointed the other direction. And if the practical side is what worries you, If Something Happens to Me covers where things are and who to call.
If this mattered to you
This is a smaller, self-guided version of something we help families do more fully. The Legacy Vault preserves this kind of reflection in your own recorded voice, built through the conversations you already have with your advisor, then reviewed, confirmed, and kept for the people you choose.
If one conversation is all you want, The First Chapter is exactly that: a single guided conversation, recorded and kept as a keepsake.
Quick answers
- What is this guide for?
- It is a short set of questions for you to answer about your own life, so the things you would want your kids to know get said on purpose rather than left to chance. It is not a will and it carries no legal force.
- How long does it take?
- There is no set time. Some people answer everything in a single afternoon. Others come back to it over months. A sentence is a complete answer, and so is a full page.
- Do I have to answer all fourteen questions?
- No. Skip anything that does not fit, and come back to it later or not at all. A few honest answers are worth more than a rushed full set.
- Should I share it now or leave it for later?
- Either works. Some people hand it over and talk it through. Others keep it somewhere their kids will find it, or set a date to share it themselves. There is no wrong way to finish it.